Not Running Away From Hard Discussions...

After looking at this graphic, we realize that while the Supreme Court’s decision to redefine marriage has made millions of Americans happy, it essentially silenced the voices of millions of more Americans who had already voted to reaffirm the definition of marriage between only one man and one woman. 

As we Americans try to move forward with open dialogue about this heated issue, we will find ourselves in the middle of some uncomfortable, gut-wrenching conversations. 

I almost can’t stand it because it is So Awkward! 

While I value honest discussion, I still get that jittery “fight or flight” feeling when I witness a heated discussion between two people. 

My first instinct is to leave the room, change the channel or scroll down to the next post as quickly as possible. I would much rather we all just get along. 

However, I have come to realize that the more divisive our world gets, the more important it will be to learn to listen and participate in difficult, uncomfortable and awkward conversations.  

In this country over the last two years, we’ve all witnessed heated debates and disagreements in person or online.  What begins as a sharing of opinion, quickly escalates to a word brawl.  We can only assume that these arguments will continue. 

So how do we have a productive discussion of different points of view?

There are actually a few things we can do.

Celeste Headlee, whose TED talk—Ten Ways to Have aBetter Conversation-- has been viewed over 10 million times agrees.  She says it’s high time we get over “our discomfort and wade in” to the tough and uncomfortable conversations.    

Before we start such vulnerable talk, she says we need to remember the following:

1. Don’t try to educate anyone.

2. Don’t pre-judge.

3. Show respect.

4. Stick it out.

This is great advice!

I believe that since you are probably never going to change anyone’s mind, we just need to stop trying to convince each other to change.  It’s important to start a difficult conversation with the knowledge that you’ll both walk away with the same opinion you have now. 

Be prepared to really listen.  Try to empathize with how or why they feel the way they do.  Be respectful by not calling names, interrupting, or talking over the other person.  Give them equal time to share their ideas.